20170117: The Great Ocean Road

 Tuesday, January 17, 2017 Great Ocean Road Excursion

We booked a Great Ocean Road Excursion through Viator to keep from having to risk getting into trouble driving on the wrong side of the road, since they drive on the left side of the road in Australia. Our driver picked us up in a 25 passenger bus with a single row of seats on the port side and doubles on the starboard side. Since we were going to be headed around the coast with the ocean on our left, we picked two singles on the left. It was nice having someone do the driving because getting through Melbourne would have been a bit hairy.

We spotted some unusual vehicles here in Australia. They seem to have several vehicles that look like a compact sedan grafted onto the front of an open truck bed, and some more integrated ones that look like the old Ford Ranchero or Chevy El Camino. One was called a Ford Falcon. I'm sure that would sell like hotcakes if they offered it in the US. 

We also saw a fair number of compact suv's like Toyota RAV4's with snorkel attachments, as if you were really going to try to drive across a river in something that small. I would think you'd get picked up by the current and dragged downstream if you got in water deep enough to require a snorkel to keep the engine from drowning. Our first stop along the coast was a town called Torquey, which is a surfing town. It seemed similar to Tofino, British Columbia, Canada. We had morning tea consisting on tea or instant coffee and slices of blueberry or vanilla cake. 

There was a nice beach where we set up in a picnic area above the beach. The weather forecast for Melbourne was hot with highs in the mid to upper 90's, but on the coast, it was overcast and comfortably in the 80's. The first part of the Great Ocean road is called the surf coast because it is formed by innumerable coves with beautiful beaches and lots of places to surf. We drove by several coves where a single surfer could be seen picking and choosing which wave to ride in on. There is a memorial arch that marks the official start of the Great Ocean Road, which was built with pick-axes, shovels and wheel barrows by soldiers returning from WWI as a public works project. 

We got to walk out onto the surf to get our feet wet. The water wasn't warm by any means, but not bone chilling cold like Puget Sound is. Our next stop was in the modern resort town of Lorne for a bathroom break and to stretch our legs. There were lots of people on the beach including several classes of young kids learning how to surf. There are lots of really expensive looking houses in Lorne. Just imagine Malibu in Australia.

As we continued, the road got higher and the coast more rugged. Our next stop was at a place called the Kafe Koala at Kennet River, where we got out and walked up a road next to an RV park where Koalas usually hang out. We were able to see two Koalas in some smallish but densely foliaged eucalyptus trees near the parking lot. 

They were only 10-12' up, but still hard to spot because of how dense the branches and leaves were. They looked like cute fluffy balls of fur in no hurry to go anywhere or do anything. We walked further up the road with our tour group, but didn't see any other Koalas. We did learn not to call them bears because they are marsupials, and more closely related to kangaroos than bears. We also saw a brightly colored King parrot.

There are lots of RV parks along the Great Ocean Road filled with tents, small RV's and campers. They looked parked elbow to elbow with every possible site filled with some sort of camp. There were none of the big class A RV's that we have all over the US, but you really wouldn't want to drive one of those on some of the steep, windy and twisty parts of that road. Small tow behind trailers, or caravans as they call them here, were common, as were tents and small class B and class C RV's. There were a lot of rental class B RV's based on large sprinter like vans.

We arrived at Apollo Bay, the last surfing town on the Great Ocean Road, at 1pm for lunch. The tour included a box lunch from a Thai restaurant. It was pretty bad. Imagine a Stouffer's microwave meal box, and that would be 2 steps above the soggy noodles, chewy meat, frozen mixed veggies and thin sauce that came in these, but we were hungry and appreciated having lunch included. We had assumed we would be on our own. The restaurant menu was charging $22 AUD for our lunches- an absolute outrage. We were dreaming of Xiao Long Bao and plotting on how we might be able to make one more dumpling run before we leave Melbourne. 

The driver recommended an ice cream shop in town that offers Vegemite flavored ice cream. There was a huge line, so we passed on sampling that. We did pass the Vegemite factory just outside Melbourne as we left the city limits that morning, but our guide wasn't sure if they offered tours. A couple in our tour group was from the northern suburbs of Melbourne and they attested to Vegemite being a part of the Australian national identity. They did mention they use it stews as well as on toast.

The road then headed inland and through a temperate rain forest. We stopped at a place called Mait's Rest, where we went on a nice interpretive hike from a eucalyptus forest down into a fern gully inhabited by prehistoric looking giant ferns. 

Some of these were appropriately called tree ferns because they were 8-12' tall, casting a dense shade and cool on forest floor. Some of the trees in the forest are estimated to be near 1000 years old, like the sequoias in California. These were impressive trees with trunks of 10-12' diameter near the base. 

However, we have seen some California redwoods that were more than 20' across near the base. Still, it was a nice contrast to the beach, and the real fern gully put the one at the Royal Botanical Garden (which we thought was very nice at the time) to shame.

We drove through a lot of winding, twisting mountainous roads and then wound our way through vast pastures of dairy and cattle before the road turned back towards the ocean. By the time we arrived back at the coast in Port Campbell, the coast was wild and untamed with monster surf, high cliffs and as rugged a coastline as you could ask for. The Twelve Apostles are a series of free standing edifices standing out in the ocean where the cliffs between them and the coast had been eroded away. They apparently started off called the Sow and Piglets, but were rebranded as the Twelve Apostles at some point, with a surge in tourist interest after the rebranding.

This was rugged and beautiful, but one thing nobody warned us about was the horrible flies. We were swarmed by thousands or millions of flies that would fly into your eyes, up your nose, and buzz in your ears if you stood still for too long. People had developed various strategies for dealing with them. I used my cap to wave them off, but when I paused to take a picture with my camera, I had to put up with having flies landing on my face and buzzing my ears until I could resume swatting them away with my hat. 

Our guide said if we had arrived at Christmas, the flies were easily twice as bad. As horrible as that sounds, at least these flies were apparently only interested in licking the sweat off you, and didn't bite. We did see one smart couple who were hiking with full mosquito netting covering their entire faces. Their shirts were still covered with flies, but at least they didn't have them in their faces. That definitely detracted from an otherwise spectacular site.

Our first stop was at Gibson Steps where steps were cut into the cliff face to allow supplies to be delivered to the beach, and then hauled up the steps for the settlements above. Prior to the Great Ocean Road, all supplies had to come via the sea. This allowed us to descend the 200+ foot tall cliff face to the beach and see the pounding surf up close. The stairs were only 18" wide in some places, and many areas were wet with water exuding from the cliff face, and slippery with eroded sand, so you had to take some care to get down and back up. You also had to time it with the flow of the crowds because the narrow parts are for one way traffic only.

The next stop was at the Twelve Apostles overview and visitor center. There were several board walks leading to wonderful views of the formations, but we were under constant attack by the flies. Taking selfies was a real challenge, and some produced some funny shots as we were trying to blow off flies from our faces long enough to frame and grab a shot. There was also a constant buzz of helicopters that took off from the visitor center and took tourists on 15, 30, and 60 minute flights for $70, $250 and $570. The visitor center had nice flush toilets, but no educational materials- just a canteen selling snacks, and hats. I was surprised they didn't sell bug hats or fly swatters. Or maybe they sold out earlier in the season.

The last stop on the coast was a place called Loch Ard Gorge. A ship called the Loch Ard had wrecked off the coast and only two people survived, a young man and woman. They had managed to swim through a narrow opening into a hidden vast cove. They sheltered in a cave overnight. The next day, the man climbed out of the gorge and found help from ranchers above. The hidden cove and caves are marvelous, but we still had to battle off the flies. By this point in the trip, everyone was eager for Tim to open up the bus so when could seek shelter from the flies. The window sills of the bus were filled with the bodies of dead flies that had been swatted down at the end of the trip. It was pretty gross. The driver must have to use a dust buster to vacuum all the bodies out at the end of each trip.

The last part of the trip was a sprint back to Melbourne with a quick stop in a town called Colac for fast food dinners at 7pm. There was an interesting noodle shop, but they only took cash, so we crossed the street to KFC. Oddly, they didn't have paper towels or napkins anywhere. If you asked at the counter, you could get a plastic wrapped spork with a tiny napkin, but they only gave these out grudgingly. You also had to ask for ketchup to go with your fries. Apparently, only stupid Americans use ketchup on their fries. Their ketchup is packaged in tiny flimsy trays with tenacious foil lids that are nearly impossible to get off without getting the

ketchup all over you. This made the lack of napkins and paper towels all the more aggravating. Our meals during our Great Ocean Road excursion were definitely a huge disappointment. We've been spoiled by having so much great food so easily accessible in Chinatown.

We were glad to have booked an excursion for this trip instead of renting a car and attempting to drive it and do it ourselves because we didn't trust that we wouldn't end up killing ourselves by driving on the wrong side of the road, and because there was a lot of difficult and long driving to be done. There was also wifi on the bus for parts of the trip when the bus had an adequate cellular signal, so were were able to at least get out pictures in close to real time.

We'll be repacking tonight and hailing a cab tomorrow to transfer to the cruise port at Melbourne Station Pier.